This week, I had the opportunity to work with a client to help him understand his harmful sexual behaviour. In my experience, much of this behaviour emerges, at least in part, from projection. Projection is a psychodynamic concept that essentially means we find our internal feelings intolerable and unconsciously displace them onto others.
Recognising Projection in Ourselves
A practical way to recognise projection in ourselves is to notice what we dislike in others. Often, these are traits we can’t face within ourselves. For instance, I struggle with selfishness and tend to go above and beyond to ensure people don’t see me as selfish. However, I’m highly attuned to selfishness in others. This suggests there’s a part of me that’s inherently selfish, which I find intolerable, so I avoid acknowledging it.
I know someone who frequently accuses others of being aggressive. Although I don’t see the accused as aggressive, the accuser is one of the angriest people I know but works hard to present as non-angry. They are essentially projecting their intolerable anger onto others.
Projection in Harmful Sexual Behaviour
For my client, their projection involved an overwhelming sense of imperfection that had been present since birth for various reasons. By projecting these inner feelings onto others, they saw as ‘perfect,’ they made them imperfect. By not acknowledging their own pain and suffering, they caused others to suffer. This projection served as a protective defensive mechanism.
Understanding that a significant portion of our interactions involves projection allows us to be more mindful of our impact on others and theirs on us. It can also help us avoid unnecessary confusion when someone reacts strongly to us, likely due to their internal struggles rather than our actions.
Projection in the Workplace
Throughout my career, I’ve observed projection in action in various workplaces. When working with students in placements, I often advise them to observe the kitchen area. It tends to be where much internal distress manifests. Signs angrily demanding cleanliness or not to steal yogurts often indicate unconscious projection.
Projection and Sexual Harassment
Projection can also manifest in more serious ways, such as sexual harassment. This behaviour can stem from various issues, including projection. My work involves helping individuals understand themselves better so they can take responsibility for their actions and their impact on others.
By understanding projection and its role in harmful behaviours, we can better address and mitigate these issues, fostering healthier interactions and relationships.