Control
Control is a word loaded with meaning. For some people I work with, such is their desire for control that it has been used to harm others very badly so the word is full of assumptions and negative connotations. In other areas of life, many leaders find it difficult to relinquish control, believing that only they can really do things ‘properly’. But to me, the desire for control needs to be reframed.
At its core, control is fundamentally about safety. When leaders struggle to delegate, they’re not just being difficult—they’re responding to deep-seated fears and anxiety. The need to control every aspect of a project stems from an underlying belief that letting go might lead to disaster.
Understanding the Safety-Seeking Mechanism
When you find yourself unable to delegate, ask yourself these critical questions:
- What am I truly afraid of?
- What’s the worst that could happen if I trust my team?
- How are my control mechanisms protecting me?
Most control-driven leaders are operating from a place of protection. They’ve likely experienced past failures, criticism, or moments of vulnerability that have taught them that the safest path is to do everything themselves. It’s a survival strategy that worked once but is now holding them back.
The Cost of Constant Control
Ironically, the very mechanism designed to keep you safe is actually preventing your growth and the growth of your team. Constant control:
- Exhausts your personal energy
- Limits your team’s potential
- Creates a culture of dependency
- Stifles creativity and innovation
Breaking Free from the Control Cycle
Overcoming control-driven behaviours requires:
- Self-awareness
- Understanding the root of your safety-seeking behaviours
- Developing trust in yourself and your team
- Practicing incremental delegation
- Embracing vulnerability as a strength, not a weakness
Practical Steps to Let Go
- Start small: Delegate minor tasks and gradually increase complexity
- Create clear expectations and check-in structures
- Reframe mistakes as learning opportunities
- Develop your team’s skills through coaching, not controlling
- Celebrate team successes, not just individual achievements
The Transformative Power of Trust
When you shift from controlling to trusting, something magical happens. Your team becomes more engaged, innovative, and committed. You free up mental and emotional energy to focus on strategic leadership.
Control is an illusory shield. True leadership is about empowerment, growth, and creating an environment where everyone can excel.
Are you ready to trade your safety blanket of control for the powerful strategy of trust?